Something that’s been on my mind lately: Why do we pull out all the stops for sex with others, but not for sex with ourselves?
I’m partnering with Vush to break the stigma around female sexuality and remind ya’ll that you deserve to feel good. And since it’s more taboo for women to masturbate for some reason, we might not have as much “practice” as we need to figure out what feels good. I’m speaking from experience, too, so recently I’ve decided to make it a point to take some of the things I love about sex and apply them to self-love sessions too.
Here are some of my tips for making sure your self-love time is just as mind-blowing as partner loving—or maybe even more so.
1. Get All Dolled Up
Yes, sometimes sweatpants can be sexy, but one of my favorite things about going out on dates is taking a long shower, lotioning up my body, and carefully selecting everything that goes on my body. Try dressing up in something that makes you feel sexy and admiring yourself in the mirror before you get started.
2. Don’t Forget the Foreplay
You don’t like when a partner skips kissing and immediately tries to get their hands in your pants, right? So, why would you do that to yourself? Take time exploring your body with your hands (or with The Empress, eventually). Or, just take time absorbing anything you might be watching or reading as part of your foreplay. Personally, I find it more fun when I’m already super turned on before even touching myself.
3. Find a Toy That Works for You (And Don’t Be Afraid To Be a Lil’ Goldilocks-Like)
I have a confession: I don’t really like traditional vibrators. They seem to nearly always be a bit too much for me. I’m sensitive. I prefer using my fingers as a DIY vibrator, so even though I get to try tons of fun toys for work, I always end up going back to what God gave me (my hands).
But this actually changed when I had the chance to try The Empress by Vush. It’s not a vibrator, it’s more of a suction designed to “suck” and apply pressure to your clitoris. Like a vibrator, there are multiple settings (8 levels of fun pleasure). Because I like things more chill, I usually stick to the first setting and sometimes work my way up a few before going back down. It also is 100% waterproof if you want to use it in the bathtub or shower. Plus one thing I love most about The Empress is that it is USB rechargeable! Makes life so much easier without having to find replacement batteries all the time.
I highly recommend trying this The Empress by Vush because it’s likely different than any other toys you’ve tried and designed specifically for the female body (and the place where the female body has the most sensitive nerve-endings). Like I said, toys aren’t usually my thing, and this is the only one I find myself reaching for regularly. If you want to try it, you can use my code GIOV for 20% off.
4. Give Yourself Time to Absorb All the Good Vibrations
One of the most underrated parts of great sex in my opinion? Post-coitus when you’re cuddling and recapping how amazing everything was—just lying there and taking it all in, not immediately reaching for your phone or worrying about what you have to do that day, etc. Try doing this after masturbation, okay? I get that you can’t exactly cuddle with yourself, but you can totally fetal position or sprawl out on the bed, and just absorb how you feel, etc. Think of it almost as a post-masturbation meditation. Chilling out is good!
5. Keep It Clean
Just like you want your partner to have good hygiene, you want your toys to be in tip-top shape. After use, make sure to thoroughly wash The Empress. You can use simple soap and water (yes, it’s waterproof), or you can snag a specialized toy cleaner at your local sex shop or on Amazon.
Seriously, I’m challenging you to take your self-love up a notch and try implementing these tips into your self-love routine. It’s way better than watching Netflix, I promise.
