It’s always so easy to spot an ex-girlfriend gift.
I remember when an ex and I reunited after being apart for about six months, I noticed he had a new Ridge wallet and immediately knew that meant he was seeing someone else in the interim. I was also like, “Nice wallet, I could’ve gotten you one for free because I worked with them.”
A guy I was dating this past summer had a small tapestry with a photo of his dog’s face on it in his bedroom. I commented on it and he showed me that he had a pair of socks with his other dog’s face on it. I laughed before he told me that his ex-wife got them for him. All I said was, “I know.”
He asked how I knew, and I don’t quite know how to describe it, but to me it’s always so obvious. Guys definitely don’t take the time to make personalized accessories for themselves, and most also aren’t super keen on picking out their own clothing and accessories. Sure, they could receive these items as gifts from friends or family, but I don’t know many dudes that exchange gifts beyond a case of beer or a trip to Vegas.
Anyway, I originally planned on writing that intro to welcome a list of gift ideas that wouldn’t stick out like a sore thumb in your dude’s apartment with a flashing sign that said “my ex got this for me,” but then I realized that pretty much anything you get a dude (aside from maybe a PS5) will look that way because girls are simply better at picking things out than men are for themselves. Sorry?
Regardless, here are 8 gifts for your boyfriend that are way cooler than anything his ex got him.
1. A good pair of joggers
If you thought athleisure was having a moment pre-COVID, it’s truly taken over now. My Quarantine boo back in March wanted a good pair of joggers that was comfy, and made to fit someone with muscle. I asked my Instagram followers for their recommendations and they suggested Alphalete.
They were a hit. I think he ended up buying them in four colors. Alphalete also just released a women’s line that my little sister says are the most flattering shorts/leggings she’s tried ever (and she’s tried a lot), so maybe snag something for yourself too.
2. A monthly scent subscription so you can choose his new cologne together
A nice cologne is a go-to girlfriend gift for her man. Because first, cologne is actually kind of expensive. And second, you can pick out a scent that you like. If you want to be a little less basic (and a little more fun), get your man a Scentbird subscription. That way, he (and you) can try a new scent each month to figure out what you both like. The only downside is if you ever break up, instead of having one scent that reminds you of your ex, you’ll have 12.
3. A unique watch that’s way cooler than a Rolex
If you’re going to get your man a watch, you want it to be a nice watch. But, you’re probably not balling out on a Rolex or an Audemars Piguet.
For something (relatively) affordable, but still super chic and unique, check out Carpenter Watches.
The Brooklyn-based small business offers a curated collection of watches with a vintage-inspired classic look that will stand the test of time. My favorite is the M22 Brooklyn Field because the face is ever-so-slightly navy. It looks black most of the time, but surprises you with a navy hue when the light hits it right. They also offer custom engraving and cool watch accessories like leather cases.
4. Something that makes manscaping a bit easier down there
Okay, I realize that getting a ball trimmer + skincare kit isn’t quite as cool as a PS5, but my ex literally asked for an electric razor for Christmas last year, so I can’t be that crazy.
This package also comes with a subscription service which delivers replacement blades every three months (because you know your man would probably forget otherwise). This is also a passive aggressive way to tell your dude that he needs to pay a bit more attention to his hygiene down there. But look on the positive side, if he actually uses this gift, it also probably means more (and better) blowjobs all 2021!
5. A quarantine-activity that’ll make you both hot
If you and your dude have been stuck in the house since March and need something to spice things up (pun intended—sorry I’m so corny), this hot sauce making kit sounds like the perfect stay-home activity. And it ships Prime in case you waited until the last minute.
6. Or a more chilled out quarantine activity
This is arguably the most girlfriend-y gift ever. Like, if I walked into a guy’s house and he had this hanging on his wall I’d be like, “damn you watched all those movies with your ex? Sounds like a fun relationship.” But, I included it in this list because COVID. Wouldn’t you feel more accomplished if you got to basically check off an item on this poster every time you watched a movie? It’s like the easiest to-do list ever.
7. Jeans that feel like joggers
If your man is good on joggers but you still wanna go the comfy pants route, get him pants that look like nice jeans but feel like joggers. Diesel JoggJeans® are expensive, but worth the $$$ (especially if you can snag them on sale). If you’re dating a dude with muscular legs or a big booty that has trouble finding jeans that fit right, I highly recommend these.
8. Lube, but for his beard
This is a cute stocking stuffer idea if you’re dating a bearded babe. It’s also a great passive aggressive way to say, “I know you’re still riding out no-shave November, but your wiry beard is irritating my face when we kiss.” It comes in multiple sizes so you can choose how much you wanna spend/gift. Also, in my experience, guys f-ing love this brand.
Cover image by @luciidvizual
