Let’s talk about the best sex toys to buy your girlfriend (or just the girl you’ve been having fun with)…

Some guys tend to see sex toys in a negative light. It’s like they think sex toys are going to replace their dicks and they’ll remain celibate for the rest of their days. Well, dudes, if a sex toy can replace you, then you probably need to work on your sex game (but that’s a story for another day).

I don’t think any girl has ever worried that a blow-up sex doll or an AutoBlow is going to replace her. Can an AutoBlow look up at you seductively while it sucks you? Can a blow-up doll get on top and send you sexy selfies while you’re at work? Probs not (at least not yet, anyway). 

I don’t know if that did anything to help you get over your fear of sex toys, but as they would say to boys in America, “put your big boys pants on and get over it.” No, seriously, your girl will thank you and you’ll stop having to work as hard in bed to get your partner off.

Now, I don’t know your current situation. Maybe you’re looking for a toy to spice things up since you and your boo have been having lazy sex in sweat pants all spring and it’s getting kind of old. Maybe your girl is quarantined with the fam in Minnesota and you want to send her a surprise. Maybe you’re single and lonely AF, so you want to make sure when life goes back to normal and you can fornicate again, you’re going to knock it out of the park.

Whatever it is, here are some toys that would be great for you to buy with your girl and use together (or, some she can use alone when you guys are apart, too—I promise it’ll make her more excited to see you, it won’t make her not need you anymore). Here are the best sex toys to buy your girlfriend:

1. If you’re into a lil public play:

Wearable Clit Vibrator, 10 Speeds, $24.99

On one hand, you probably shouldn’t be going to a restaurant right now. On the other hand, if you’re going to anyways, this might be an opportune time to experiment with some public play? Most likely there will be less people around, and chances are you and your partner could use some—er—socializing.

Have you ever seen the scene in that movie The Ugly Truth where Katherine Heigl wears vibrating panties to a work dinner and has an orgasm at the table? Yeah, this will be kind of like that, but better (and less likely to earn you a talk with HR). Best Vibe offers an option with 10 different speeds, plus a mechanism that clips inside of the wearer’s panties so that there aren’t any slippery situations.

BUY IT HERE

2. If your babe doesn’t usually like vibrators:

I’ve written a full review of VUSH’s The Empress toy here, and it’s still one of my favorite toys to this day. If, like me, your girl isn’t typically into vibrators, she might like this. Instead of a traditional “buzzing” sensation, it’s more of a sucking/pulsing sensation. And, unlike other similar toys, this one is small enough that you could totally use it during penetrative sex and not just foreplay (or solo play). It also has eight settings and is waterproof!

You can use my code GIOV for 20% off The Empress! BUY IT HERE

3. If you want to try anal, but your boo is hesitant:

Luxury Jewelry Design Stainless Steel Butt Plug Set, $13.95

There are a lot of common mistakes that straight men when it comes to anal sex. Aside from the obvious need for lube, you also have to remember that the butthole is not built to stretch out to accommodate a baby at any point in its life—and probably not to fit your you-know-what either. So, if you’re trying to warm your girl up to the idea of butt stuff, you have to warm her booty up too.

Pretty butt plugs like this always seem like a good way to make butt stuff fun (and aesthetic) IMO. Also a small anal vibe or dildo would be a good thing to work with before trying to get you (and your dongle) involved. Lastly, even if you don’t specifically buy something for her butt, using a vibrator on her clitoris is also a good thing to try to distract her from what you’re doing to her booty.

BUY IT HERE

4. If you want to blow her mind:

LuLu 11 Upgraded Personal Wand Massager with Memory, $36.95

Talk to any guy, and they’ll say that their girlfriend/partner/playmate/whatever is OBSESSED with their magic wand vibe. Weirdly, none of my girlfriends (nor myself) choose a magic wand vibe as our favorite sex toy, but maybe I just don’t hang with that kind of crew? I actually just don’t like super intense vibrations, but a lot of women do! In fact, a study by the New York Times found that a magic wand massager was “the only toy…that could consistently bring [their testers] to an intense climax.” They also noted that, “Academic research studies have found that prescribing [this type of toy] is one of the most effective therapies for women who struggle w/ chronic anorgasmia.”

Magic wand vibes are ideal for a girl who really likes intense vibrations and perhaps has trouble orgasming (you will be most likely using the toy on her clitoris, FYI). Just make sure to be in touch with your partner about how intense she wants the vibrations, and when to apply the pressure and get rid of it (she might get sensitive down there post-o).

BUY IT HERE – You can use my code ASHLEY for 10% off

5. If you’re long distance, or you want a tighter fit during sex:

We-Vibe Chorus App and Remote Control Couple’s Vibrator

Are you tired of Facetime-ing with shitty connection and hushed dirty talk so your roommate doesn’t hear you from the other room? WeVibe is your go-to toy destination for long-distance loving. 

Their products are all designed to be used with their bluetooth-enabled app so that you and your partner can “control” each other’s toys from afar (although they work just as great together). They even have an in-app video chat platform to be used with the toys.

The Chorus is their most classic toy, and when you’re together it’s designed to be worn by your partner during PIV sex. This obviously works better for some couples vs. others depending on your bodies. If you already have trouble fitting inside your partner, this probably won’t work well for you. If you would like a tighter fit though, it could be just the toy you need to satisfy your needs and also get your partner off with some clitoral vibrations. Or, something to make you feel more connected to your partner while she climaxes from afar.

BUY IT HERE

Are you looking for a new breakfast idea after eating oatmeal for the last 30 days in self-isolation? Are you realizing it’s time to upgrade your pillow game since you’re spending so much time in bed? Want to listen to me rant about my complicated relationship with sleep? You’ve come to the right place!

Please feel free to scroll down past all my chit-chat if you just want the recipe!

I have always had a conflicted relationship with sleep. I love sleep and I’m really good at it, but I also feel guilty waking up late (for me, that means any time after 9:30-10 am) because I feel like I should’ve been using that time more productively, and I feel like I’m starting my work day playing catch-up (especially because some of my clients are on the east coast).

This has actually been exacerbated during quarantine because, while I normally “let” myself sleep in more on the weekends, it currently feels like the weekend doesn’t exist. And, because I could technically sleep in every day of the week, I battle my conflicting desire to sleep and desire to be productive damn near every morning.

The fact that I’m nearly getting sick of my usual breakfast hasn’t helped either, so I decided to change things up just like I changed up my pillows before all of this craziness started.   

The cheap pillows I purchased at Target got flat seemingly quickly (in about 9 months—or maybe that’s normal?), so I knew it was time to upgrade. I’d previously tried Crown Goose’s duvet cover (click here for my full review), and they kindly offered to send me two of their goose down pillows as well.

Let’s just say that my sleep game seriously improved after adding these pillows to my bed. First off, having four pillows on my bed seems way more legit than having two (and is also ideal if you have any guests over). Second off, these pillows are perfectly fluffy and firm. Not like those hotel pillows that look fluffy until you put your head on them, and not like those foam pillows that are low-key hard and not my thing.

You can purchase your own Crown Goose pillows here, because now seems as good as ever a time to improve your sleep game.  

After you’re done with a good night’s rest, might I recommend trying my Beyond Sausage, Kale, + White Bean Oat Bowl recipe?

Here’s what you need for 1 serving:  

• 1.5 TBS olive oil
• 3 stalks of kale or 1.5 cups of kale (or, just fill your pan with an even layer of kale)
• ½ cup red onion, diced
• 1 garlic clove, minced
• ½ cup oats (I use these because they’re gluten-free also)
• 1 Beyond Spicy Italian Sausage (or any sausage, but these are my favorite plant-based sausages by far)
• 1 cup vegetable broth OR 1 cup water
• Salt
• Pepper
• Garlic powder
• Red pepper flakes
• ¼ cup white beans (or any beans really)
• OPTIONAL:
• Bitchin’ Sauce, Sriracha, or any other sauces you may wanna add on top  

This recipe, like most of mine, was crafted on one random day in the kitchen when I was sick of my usual breakfast, so feel free to adjust as you want for your preferences/for what’s currently in your kitchen, I think you can play with this a lot and it’ll still turn out good!

Here’s the recipe:

1. Add 1.5 TBS olive oil to a large pan and turn to medium-high heat.

2. Add garlic and red pepper flakes (just a few shakes is fine) to pan.

3. Once the oil is bubbling a bit, add the red onion and kale and season with salt, pepper, garlic powder, and red pepper flakes to taste (just a few shakes of each should be fine). Stir the kale so that it’s evenly coated in the oil and spices, then leave it be for two minutes.

5. Stir/flip the kale pieces a bit before leaving it to sit again for another 2-3 minutes.

6. Meanwhile, wash and drain your beans and add to kale. Then, start cooking the sausage and the oatmeal according to instructions. Instead of making my oats with water or milk, I used vegetable broth to give it more of a savory flavor.

7. Flip your kale one more time. It should be crispy and even a little burnt in some places. If it looks good, you can turn the heat off or low while you prep the bowls.

8. Top your bowl of oats with kale, cut-up sausage (feel free to add the extra oil/juice from the pan), the white beans, and any sauces or other toppings you would like. I added bitchin’ sauce, Sriracha, and fresh herbs to mine. This would also be good topped with nutritional yeast, avocado, or even some kind of red sauce.

9. Enjoy + start your day off on the right foot (or, if you intermittent fast like I do, start your afternoon on the right foot).

If you want to see this visually, check it out here on my TikTok. And check out more of my recipes below if you’d like: