If you’re looking for new books to read in 2019, and want an honest opinion from someone who does not review books for a living, keep reading…
So, this feels like a funny thing to be blogging about, but a couple of my Instagram followers have expressed interest in me writing more about the books I post on my Instagram stories, and I’m always happy to oblige!
Reading is one of the very few leisure activities I actively participate in and enjoy these days. And one of the few activities that doesn’t involve me looking at a screen! That’s why I’ve started buying regular books again, rather than using a Kindle or iPad—my eyes need a break!
Anyway, I’m not totally sure how to format these lil’ book blogs yet, so I decided to do a short and sweet round up of the books I’ve read so far this year/books to read in 2019, most of which are relatively new releases so you probably haven’t read them yet!
Disclaimer #1: Sorry to any men reading this, but I realized that most of the books I ended up reading these past two months are sort of on the slightly more “girly” side. However, my super manly guy friend borrowed #4 from me and read it on the way back from Thailand, and he said he felt like he learned a lot about the female perspective in relationships! So…something to consider!
Disclaimer #2: Everyone has their “type” when it comes to books. I read non-fiction about 99% of the time, generally memoirs, biographies, and books that are somewhat related to psychology, especially the science behind sex/relationships. Something to know before you dig in.
5 books to read in 2019…Because then you can discuss them with me!
1. How To Be Alone: If You Want to and Even If You Don’t by Lane Moore
Read it if you liked: Clothes, Clothes, Clothes. Music, Music, Music. Boys, Boys, Boys.: A Memoir
Out of all the books on this list, I’d say this is the one I’d universally recommend to most people. Not only because of the catchy title and gender-neutral cover (spoiler alert: it’s not actually a “how to” book, it’s a memoir), but because I think everyone has felt alone at some point in their life and can relate in some way/shape/form to what Moore is talking about.
The book is also really captivating and if you’re like me, you’ll finish it in a day or two. It reads like a non-fiction book in that it’s definitely a page-turner, but Lane’s struggles—from feeling like an orphan all her life even though she technically had two parents, to “waiting” for a guy to be done with law school and ready to fully date her, to living in a rat-infested NYC apartment because she couldn’t afford anything else—will be relatable in some way (although maybe a less intense way) to a lot of people. Moore is also a writer (she’s worked for The Onion, Cosmo, etc.), a comedian, a musician (her band is called It Was Romance), and a stan of Jim & Pam from the office, so you may relate to some of those parts of her story too (for me, it was the former and not the latter ones).
Reading this also made me, someone who was pretty staunchly “not a dog person” all my life, want to adopt a dog? It may have been because I read this when I was at a particularly lonely/vulnerable point, or maybe just because I’ve really warmed up to dogs in recent years, but if you have a roommate who won’t let you get a dog or something, maybe buy this book for them?
2. Unwifeable: A Memoir
by Mandy Stadtmiller
by Mandy Stadtmiller Read it if you liked: Slutever: Dispatches from a Sexually Autonomous Woman in a Post-Shame World
I’ll start by saying that this book was not what I expected. When I opened up this book and the aforementioned book on Christmas morning, my mom was like, “oh god, I’m a bit concerned about you.” But this book is not about making yourself unwifeable or why you should never become a wife or something. It’s actually the author’s story about how she picked herself back up from her divorce, moved to New York City, became a writer for the New York Magazine, fell into an eating disorder/alcoholism/extreme hoe phase/all the good stuff that happens when you move to NYC, then picked herself back up and eventually found her “happy ending” of sorts (although I hate that phrase, I don’t want to give away any spoilers…but let’s just say it turns out she wasn’t unwifeable after all!)
This book is extremely real and in your face. Mandy doesn’t shy away when talking about drinking, sex, binge eating, etc.—and she doesn’t use pseudonyms for any of the NYC comedians that she has questionable sexual encounters with. The book is juicy and it’s raunchy (borderline cringe-y at parts, even for me) and it’s relatable and it’s sad, and TBH what more could you want in your reading material?
My favorite part of the book is probably when Mandy is on a first date with her future husband and she finds out that he also doesn’t drink anymore (*swoon*). She then proceeds to try to self sabotage by saying she’s “probably sucked 100 dicks.” Love that.
3. The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity
by Esther Perel
by Esther Perel
Read it if you liked: What Do Women Want?: Adventures in the Science of Female Desire
I was super excited for this book, so excited that I pre-ordered it (BTW, pre-ordering means a lot in the publishing industry, so you should always do it if you can). If you’ve ever watched one of Esther Perel’s TED talks (I think she’s most famous for The Secret To Desire in Long Term Relationships), you’ll understand why. I also love reading anyone’s opinion on sex/dating that strays from the norm. In this case, Perel’s book discusses infidelity and some different ways to look at it in terms of the causes and solutions. Not to mention, some “preventative-ish” tips, like having a conversation about what you consider cheating before you find your boo paying for a private sesh with a cam girl and kick him out of the apartment.
It’s definitely not a “how to” book, so don’t expect to come away from the book with any real advice, per se, but it’s definitely illuminating (and maybe disheartening if you’re pro-monogamy) reading about Perel’s clients and some of the interesting situations they get themselves in (and how they get out). I definitely enjoyed the book and I’m glad I read it, although I’ll admit I felt a bit similar to how I feel when I go to a therapist, in that I found myself saying, “Okay, I get that, but can you just tell me/them exactly what we’re supposed to do?!”
I think someone who doesn’t already read a ton of books on the science of love/sex, or someone who has dealt with cheating in their relationship(s), might appreciate it this book slightly more than I did, but I definitely still enjoyed it! In terms of books to read in 2019, I feel like this is a good one that you can pull from for dinner table conversation—or at least something smart to say when your latest Tinder match asks about the last book you read?
4. How to Fall in Love with Anyone: A Memoir in Essays
by Mandy Len Catron
by Mandy Len CatronRead it if you liked: How to Be Alone: If You Want To, and Even If You Don’t
You probably saw that article “To Fall In Love With Anyone, Do This” from The New York Times a few years ago, right? The one with the 36 questions to scientifically fall in love with the person you shared them with? The woman who wrote that article went on to write this book. But, like Lane Moore’s How To Be Alone, it’s not really a “how-to” book, it’s a memoir. Of course, the central theme is love, something both Catron and Moore are pretty fixated on from a young age (I realize it sounds like I’m shading them for this, but I’m totally not).
Catron starts with her parents love story and how as she got older, it seemed less and less romantic (especially after they divorced). She also talks about her own dating life, which you’ll relate to if you’ve ever stayed in a relationship that you knew was doomed deep down, but you held out for that hope things would magically change. She works in some science-y stuff about relationship behavior, which is my kind of shit. All in all, it’s an easy, fun, and good read that makes you reflect on your own relationships but doesn’t get too deep/emo on you (I read it in two days).
Well, I didn’t think it was too deep/emo. My aforementioned bro-y guy friend read it and thought it was really sad, but I think it’s because he doesn’t realize how most girls are/how they think in relationships/how obsessed they are with finding true love compared to most men. To me, it just seemed normal in terms of how relationships go. Breakups happen and girls overthink them the whole way through, duh?
5. Eve’s Hollywood 
by Eve Babitz
by Eve Babitz Read it if you liked: Sex and the City
This book ended up on my radar after I came across this article on Twitter. The first line is “MEN DIDN’T CONQUER Eve Babitz, she conquered them — and wrote about it, in seven published books and assorted articles and stories,” so you can see why I was intrigued.
Eve Babitz is also apparently well known for having a fling with Jim Morrison, a.k.a the (dead) celeb crush of my teen years, so I was also impressed by that. And you know, the whole bit about people assuming she wasn’t a good writer because she was a little thotty/had a great rack/etc., you get it.
In terms of the book itself, it reminded me a bit of Sex & the City (the book, not the show/movie). For me personally, that made it hard to get into/not my favorite. I read a lot of books that are the kinds of books where you can read the chapters out of order (which is how this book is), but something about this didn’t really do it for me. Maybe it was a little too glam and fun for me (it’s all about vignettes of life in LA—parties, boujie restaurants that celebs frequent, teenage heartthrobs that get into fights at the beach) when deep down I like books with facts and stats? I’m not sure.
Either way, I’m still glad I read it (actually, I’m still finishing it), because it feels like a classic in terms of what I once dubbed “thotty memoirs.” Maybe you’ll enjoy it more than I did.
6. Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression – and the Unexpected Solutions
by Johann Hari
by Johann HariRead it if you liked: Thinking, Fast and Slow
Okay, I technically read this in 2018, not 2019, but I find myself recommending it to people a lot, so I figured I’d add it on this list of books to read in 2019 too (especially because most of the books I’ve read in the last few months are memoirs, and this one isn’t).
Instead, Hari’s book looks into the 9 common “causes” behind depression. He also discusses potential solutions to help attack the root of the problem rather than just numb the pain temporarily (although admittedly, I found the first half of the book—the causes—much more page-turning).
I found this book really interesting and illuminating in terms of explaining why so many of us feel the way we feel, and why mental health problems manifest themselves at certain times, and in certain ways. There are a ton of interesting studies and surveys highlighted in this book that I’d never read about anywhere else, and if nothing else, they’ll make for good dinner table conversation.
What I’m Reading Next: Tongue Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships
by Stella Harris
by Stella HarrisI hope you found some good books to read in 2019, or at least one book to buy for the year when you actually have time to read—maybe during your summer vacay? I know it can be hard to find time to read. A great tip is to put your phone on airplane mode about 30 minutes before bed and read until you’re ready for sleep. It’ll help you sleep better too 🙂
P.S. If you enjoyed this post and want to help fund my reading adventures for the future, maybe you could buy me a book from my Amazon wishlist?
Johann Hari’s book on addiction – Chasing the Scream – is also well worth reading.
Adding to my list! Thank you for the rec and thank you for reading 🙂